I hated La La Land

Sorry to be such a downer. This movie has gotten a ton of press and awards over the last few weeks. And I totally agree with it- it’s got some great actors, memorable songs, incredible shots and directing, and a surprising plot. But the theme of this movie is actually quite depressing, and I find it hard to believe no one sees that.

The movie interplays between a timid struggling actress and a moody jazz pianist. The two meet, and though initially annoyed by each other, are both drawn and impressed by each other’s dreams for career success one day. Their romance starts out quick and fun, but gets difficult as both try to actually progress in their fields. They both encourage each other along at times, and other times fight with each other regarding where compromises should be made in order to step forward.

*Spoiler Alert*. As I said, I loved the fun songs and dances and obviously related to the struggles of progressing to get where you want in life. But I was totally shocked when we neared the ending of the movie and they chose they careers instead of each other and became strangers. The only reason either one of them had their career was because of that relationship and they completely left it behind.

Look, I understand this happens all the time. I understand that they could both find someone else to be in relationship with. And I understand that movies sometimes end with a twist. But I was even more crushed when the movie went back and ended by saying there was literally no way that they could end up together and end up successful in their careers. Says who? Why couldn’t they have both?

This theme that you can either pick career or love has been running through several movies in the last few years and it is depressing me, especially because it’s not true. I find it hard to believe that both of them could go through the steps to fight for their education, fight for their paychecks, and fight the indications that they should hang up on their dreams, but had no strength at the end of that all to fight for the person who made that dream possible for them. Why would you be willing to fight for the hard steps in your career but not willing to fight through the hard steps in your relationships?

Many of the doctors I know that are in their 50s now and happily married and working successfully in their career obviously didn’t get there by accident. I know many who actually put each other through school- one would go to medical school and residency while the other worked. When they got settled, the other would pursue their own training. They took the time to help, support, and fight for each other as well as their careers. It’s incredible to me, because it is a huge sacrifice, but you get to complete it along with someone you love instead of leaving them behind.

Just because a dream isn’t completed in the time frame you hoped doesn’t mean it is impossible.  

Now obviously, in the movie, they were having some trouble in their relationship. But I’ve heard it said, “If there’s not conflict in a relationship that you’re fighting through, there’s not a reason to fight for the relationship. (Lisa Bevere)” In other words, you won’t always agree with each other, but that doesn’t mean you leave each other behind. That means you find the same determination that makes you go after your dreams and determine to fight for the person too.

Why are we so adamant about our careers and so lackadaisical about the people in our lives?  

I’ve been praying lately for direction and vision in life, and asking what steps I need to take next. God’s answer was that I need to love people more. Sounds absurd. And it’s the step I always thought I could leave out of my career and work on later. But it’s the step God wants us to work on most. See I’ve done it the other way, where you leave relationships behind as you plow through. If you get to the goal but have no one to celebrate with, it’s not worth it. And I guarantee you, if you fall like I did, you will want somewhere there to help pick you back up. And why do you need these people? Because they see your weaknesses and help you get past them. They see your hard days and life your spirits. They remind you of your ability and your vision when things get frustrating and look unbearable.

Love speaks mountains, and thankfully, helps us move them as well.

I keep seeing memes and quotes and movies circulating that say to just get rid of people in your life. By all means, please get rid of someone who is literally abusing you. But for someone who challenges, encourages, and fights for you? Does that not sound like someone you should keep around?

How are you doing fighting for the relationships that actually matter in your life?

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 3:9-10