I sighed and sat back in my chair, feeling defeated.
So, my option was to either be the crazy drunk girl or spend the entire night getting asked, “Who are you supposed to be?” Not that I didn’t think that Valkerie was a stand-up character in the end and a great fighter… but my options were always the angry black “you-know-what” or– well, no one! I was just tired of only having mediocre background characters to look up to.
Last year I was trying to think of a costume to wear to the opening of a new Marvel movie, and I realized I didn’t have many options that resembled me. I even have several friends who are redheads, and even though they are usually a minority in movies, even they had multiple options to pick costumes in the plethora of the 17 Marvel Universe movies that existed at the time. I had one.
And I’m tired of looking at characters worth emulating in film and having to imagine in my head that they might ever look like me. I’m tired of seeing people who do physically resemble me who have none of the ability, aspirations, or accomplishments friends and I have set after in life. It shouldn’t be this hard.
So, Black Panther was obviously a big deal to me. I obviously love Marvel and the movie was incredible. But for the first time in a major blockbuster for most of my life, I saw a young, black women uplifted for her dedicated work ethic and her intellect, not just her mouth and her body. And the incredible cast of awesome black characters to emulate should not be this hard to find in cinema.
In addition, Black Panther brought up another common issue I have been seeing all my life. I didn’t write about it during the release, but saw a variety of articles writing about things like African vs American, language choices, savior mentality, and other great dichotomies the movie brought up. But one thing I never saw anyone focus on, was the number of times that black characters in the movie fought against and disdained each other. You saw friends stab each other in the back multiple times. People question other’s choices without having all the facts. The worst for me was T-Challa and W’kabi. W’kabi wrote off his best friend entirely, without ever stopping to figure out and understand the decisions he had made, and the problems that had arisen in the mission he led. And far too often, I see black people walk away from each other, ignoring each other rather than learning from each others differences. They could have solved the problems they were both seeing so much quicker together as friends, rather than as enemies. Instead they squared off against each other in a war involving half the country!
I honestly don’t talk a lot about race because of my upbringing. I’m usually seen as the one who “acts white,” the one who “thinks she’s better than everyone,” the one who loses her black card because she didn’t know those song lyrics, the one with “good hair.” I have felt so often segregated by other African-Americans (both friends and family), that I sometimes feel like I’m not allowed to speak on the subject of race at all. But today I am writing for the growing number of people who have been made fun of their whole lives, instead of appreciated for their differences. We need to appreciate each other for how uniquely awesome we all are. And if we can learn to do that for each other, maybe one day Hollywood can as well.
Maybe it’s time we redefine for ourselves in our own circles what “black looks like” and take it to a new level. We all need to better stand with each other and support each other, even when we aren’t exactly what we’ve expected each other to be. I admit, I have far too often taken the Wakanda policy of avoidance rather than getting to the heart of what’s really going on. But we all need to do better fighting FOR each other, not fighting each other.
The incredible success and value of movies like Black Panther and Crazy Rich Asians last year was incredibly encouraging. But the fact still remains- there are not enough images of valuable minority leadership for our kids (and us kids at heart) to look up to. And we need to start with doing better at home. Trusting each other. Loving each other’s differences. Stepping outside the box. And allowing people to live up to their potential and their future possibilities in a way they never have before.