“Don’t you think we’re being hard on King David? He did a lot of incredible things, being a little bit disappointed in himself for messing up is no big deal. We all do that!”
“We definitely do. But I think David’s biggest failure is not that he messed up. His biggest failure is decades later he was still expecting repercussions for that same decision. God forgave him, but he never forgave himself.“
I was studying David with my Bible study a few weeks ago, and we discussed how he bravely faced giants, expertly fought, wisely led, and trusted God both in his life and his many songs. We also discussed big failures in leadership, his personal sins, and directing his family. But one of the saddest things for me as his life goes on, is seeing how differently he views himself and God when new problems arise. He stops believing God or even asking God for bad situations to change. He just lets them happen again and again and blames himself for all of it.
One of the hardest things after we’ve had a big disappointment, or big loss, or big failure is to reset our minds. To forgive ourselves and let go of the past. To stop reliving and remembering, and dream again for the future. Far too often, we continue replaying the same scene over and over, only reminding ourselves of how limited and imperfect we are.
It’s easy to remember the problem. It’s much harder to remember who your God truly is.
One of my favorite songs this year is a song called Do It Again. The lyrics in the bridge are “I’ve seen you move- you move the mountains and I believe I’ll see you do it again. You made a way when there was no way and I believe I’ll see you do it again.”
It’s honestly been one of the hardest things for me to believe for myself this year. I look at the hiccups in my health and career over the last few years and assume my life is always going to be that difficult. But the biggest win for overcoming a struggle is just changing your mind so focus not on the past and your own limitations, but on God and his limitless possibilities.
He’s not afraid. He’s not recounting your old disappointments. He’s not expecting a continuously awful future. He’s waiting for you to boldly walk up to him and faithfully ask him for more.
Honestly, we didn’t deserve what God gave us the day we were saved. We didn’t deserve what God blessed us with since we mess up every day. We never deserve the many times He saved us from problems we may or may not be aware of. He still loves us. He still wants the best for us. He still offers His support, His encouragement, His acceptance, His forgiveness, and His love no matter what.
And even if things haven’t been going the way you’d hoped and prayed in your life, we can always remember who He is, and trust Him that He can show up and do it again.